A precious gift hidden in plain sight

Tonight, I watched a video that I have watched at least a hundred times over the last six months. I have memorized every frame, but I still continually search the screen for something new. Tonight, I was rewarded for my efforts by a tiny little smile that lasted no more than a second or two that I had never noticed before until now.

The video is of my son in Bulgaria and was filmed at his orphanage over a year ago. It is the only video of our child that Rob and I have. A woman is holding our son's hands in the video trying to encourage him to walk and play in front of the camera. I do not know for certain who the woman is, but something tells me that she is his baba (foster grandmother - see one of my previous posts about the granny program). My little boy seems uncertain of what to do and a little wary of the camera man whose voice can be heard on the video calling out my son's name to get his attention. He clings to his baba, and when he is put down on the floor he reaches up to her indicating that he wants to be picked up. His face is serious.

At one point, someone rolls a ride on toy over the hardwood floors and into the room where my child and his baba are standing. The toy makes a lot of noise as it is pushed across the floor, and the sound is amplified by the microphone on the camera. At the same time, there is another child off camera crying. All of the commotion off camera is very distracting to the viewer. My son looks toward the toy as it is being wheeled into the room and then back at his baba. As she is picking him up to put him on the ride on toy, she turns him slightly toward her. There it is! At that moment, a very sweet little smile emerges from his face that lasts only for a second.

I look forward to the day when I can see that smile in person and even hear a laugh coming from those sweet lips, but for now, this will have to do.

Another seminar

As I have said before, I like to keep myself busy as we are waiting for any news from Bulgaria so Rob and I decided to attend a seminar on international adoption this past Saturday. This one was held at a local church in a neighboring county. The seminar was specifically directed at parents who were still in the process and had not brought their children home yet.

All of the people attending the seminar on Saturday were in various stages of the adoption process. Some were just beginning and had yet to complete their home study while others were like us and had already identified their child/children and had completed their dossiers. Several countries were represented as there were parents adopting from Ethiopia, China and Russia. As usual, we were the lone family adopting from Bulgaria.

The seminar was well planned, and the speakers were very knowledgeable. Rob and I chose two break out sessions to attend that day. One session was on adopting an older child, which in the world of international adoption means a child older than two. Since our little boy is three, we would fit right in. Rob and I both learned a lot from this class in regard to studies done on children raised in orphanages and the social and emotional development of these children. Emphasis was placed on meeting this children where they were developmentally and socially, not basing our responses as parents on their chronological age.

The second class that we attended was called "Eyes Like Mine" and was taught by an adult adoptee from Korea who now works as a counselor at an adoption agency and does home studies for families. The class was on transcultural and transracial issues in adoption. It was both fascinating and informative to hear about these issues from an actual adoptee. She really made all of adoptive parents, including me and Rob, think about difficult issues that we are going to encounter once we step off the plane with our child. After all was said and done, I would say that Rob and I came away enlightened but still very sure of our decision.

Best laid plans

This week did not start exactly as we had planned in regard to our adoption, but isn't that always the case? A few words from the poet Robert Burns come to mind. "The best laid plans o' mice and men often go awry."

All of the craziness really began at the end of last week when our agency sent us an email to tell us that our caseworker would be going part-time. We were somewhat alarmed by this news but trusted in our agency that they knew what they were doing and that our case would still get the required attention. However, on Monday, we received another email from our agency stating that our caseworker was no longer employed there. The email also stated that a new person would be taking her place beginning on Tuesday.

At this point, I was beginning to get a little nervous because we lost someone with whom we had built a close relationship with over a period of seven months, but also because we still did not have a definitive answer about the status of our dossier. Had it been sent to Bulgaria yet? If so, had Bulgaria received it? What was our next step?

I then realized that no matter what had happened at our agency our next step was obvious. Rob and I needed to trust in the Lord and let him guide us. The Lord has shown us many times over the last few months that this little boy was meant to be with us, and this would not change because of any upheaval at our agency. A verse from Proverbs entered into my mind.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

So, we trusted in God to make this situation right, and he did. Rob called our new caseworker the following day to introduce himself and to see if we could get any new information on our status. Within three hours, she called him back with exactly what we needed. Our dossier arrived in Bulgaria on September 13th, and VESTA is now translating and authenticating all of our documents. This process will take four to six weeks and then our dossier will be sent to the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) in Bulgaria where it will be registered. The MOJ will have it approximately four weeks before notifying VESTA of our registration and our registration number. After that, it will only be a matter of time before we receive our referral and our travel dates. Sounds like there is a possibility with the new time line that we may be spending Christmas in Bulgaria!